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There’s two things about being kicked to the curb; one, you never see it coming, argo you’re not prepared mentally or socially, two, you’ve all of a sudden got this gapping whole in your life.  What do you do? How do you repel yourself back into life having had this loss?

It would be simple to say; get your ass back on the horse, get out be social, find new places and people to hang out with, learn a new hobby. But when you’re the dumpee there’s a grieving period we all must comprehend and live through…be ye man or woman, because the dumpor has planned their moment and thus has made other plans with their life and will not have time or the inclination to hold your hand through this rough spot. So, whatever you do; DO NOT CRY ON THEIR SHOULDER, CALL THEM, ASK THEM TO EXPLAIN AND FOR HEAVEN SAKE, DO NOT RUN INTO THEM ACCIDENTLY!  Swallow your pity and move on in spite of what your heart yearns for.  Yes the dumpor will tell you things like; “…I care but it’s just not working…you’re a great person, it’s me…”  So when you’re hearing those lines, tell yourself yes I am a great person and it’s your loss and yes it is you, you’re blowing a good thing.

This will lessen the pain, your heart will experience and thus help your better sense not adhere to your yearnings. If you’re really honest with yourself, you’ll know that you are being dumped for someone else.  That’s usually why it’s sudden, out of the blue with no warning, no alarm or preview.

Unfortunately, people change when they’re dumped.  They lose all thought of reason. Some don’t eat, some over eat. And some find happiness in boomerang sex, by hopping in the sac with the first person that pays them a nano of attention.  Guys are famous for this which creates another genre of problems—the girl doesn’t know she’s a boomerang and feels all this passion he’s displaying is because he’s really in to her, which he ain’t. Then again, there are those ladies that can and do have sex just because-no pretense, no morning after blues. Women on the other hand, like to announce that they’re a recent widow (so to speak), they want to tell the story. It helps if they can put it out in  the universe as they want to be, in their mind. But, once again, they’re opening themselves up for angst and yearning, because that guy is most likely on the prowl for a good lay and you just gave him the key to coochie. He’s going to say all the right things and do all the gentlemanly things in order to have his happy ending. Avoid at all cost, the walk of shame…


Take a few days; cry, wallow, whatever it takes to get your emotions under control.  Turn off that cell phone when you’re not at work, better yet take a few days from the office so you can cleanse this whole fiasco from your system. If you’re a member of a gym, double up on your session. Nothing says happiness like a good sweat. If you’re not a member of a gym, join one and go at it full force. Just think of it as a payback of getting into shape so the next time you see your ex you’ll look and feel like a million bucks. You can truly say; yes, it was you!

Whatever you do…don’t hold pity parties with your friends, they’re your friends yes, but it’s human nature to repeat misery, the less who witness the breakdown the better and quicker the recovery. That is why gallon ice cream containers were created…thus the gym becomes a necessity. It’s all about you, now. Be selfish and be about you. Buy yourself a box of men’s handkerchiefs, sob in those, while you spoon that gallon container.

And closure is not going to give you closure.  So don’t ask for a post dump gathering.  You’ll feel fucked in the morning and even worse the days following.  Crying it out at home, working off steam at the gym, extending your jog a few miles will go along way to facing the dumpor in the future, because as sure as the full moon rises once a month, you will, see that person again, at some point.

Kill ‘em with kindness, even though you may want to flip them off a 40 story balcony, stab with a knife, shoot them with a gun…kindness is going to kill them in an even better way. They’ll think twice about what they did, they’ll wonder if you really cared and if they did the right thing after all????  And if the new thang is on their arm, just think how they’ll wonder if everything they heard was actual truth.  Doubt is a ego deflator.

When you’re kicked to the curb, find yourself some bumpers and make the fall a little softer…you’ll thank yourself later, when the right one comes along.