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champange bottle

It’s almost Christmas. Make a joyful noise. Celebrate the season!

How do you handle seeing your ex during the holiday season?  Having been together for sometime, you know the same people, same social circles and you’re bound to run into them at some point.

What’s the proper etiquette?

There are two thoughts on this. One, are they alone, unaccompanied, without date? Two, are they with a date? What does the date look like? Stylish and attractive? Not so stylish, not so attractive?

Alone: At this juncture it doesn’t matter if you have a date, if your ex is alone, they’re open game. Was the break-up amicable, or a knock down drag out…? Either way, take the high road, it’s classier and you’ll be able to look yourself in the mirror come morning. And if you’re with a date, it will make you a super star in the new person’s eyes. NO DRAMA. But do rub it in, as discreet as possible. Make them wish they’d found a dog, dressed it and dragged it with them. Charm them with pleasant conversation about the event or place. Make it short, make it drippy with kindness, tell them how great they look and with them a Happy Holiday as you make a quick exit from the area. Then for the remainder of the evening, avoid them like the plague.  And whatever you do, DO NOT INTRODUCE THE NEW DATE TO THE EX. As they say in court: “the defendant opened the door, your honor, and I have every right to pursue the subject.”  No need for them to know each other…don’t need to know the name or nothing. Nada.

Which brings us to, Accompanied:  If the ex has a date and they look like they’ve been rode hard and put up wet, the above etiquette applies. One small adjustment; make the approach while the new date is elsewhere and get in and get out quick. You don’t need to be introduced. Day-after party gossip will fill you in on gory details of who they are.   IF, the ex’s date is drop dead gorgeous and dressed to the nines, keep your ass on your side of the room, do not, I repeat, do not approach…”Danger Will Robinson!!!”  If you have a date, stay away, unless the four of you plan to have a orgee afterwards. The party gossip will eat you alive with all kinds of scenarios about how you gravelled over your ex who came with a hot date. Doesn’t matter what your date looks like. But what you can do, be as attentive to your date without pouring yourself all over them. Keep it classy, keep it whimsical and be charming to everyone. Personality goes along way to diluting after-party gossip.

Following these simple guidelines will result in having a wonderful time and the host/hostess will feel good about having vacillated over which one of you not to invite, relenting and inviting both, crossing their fingers, saying a quick prayer hoping for no drama.

Here’s a few things you can do, just in case, you’ve been wronged and want to blow off some steam.

Happy hours are great during the holiday season. There’s always a good crowd, in a festive mood, drinking a little more than usual, looking for fun and laughs. However, it’s important to make sure you’ve got a willing participant; 

Backseat sex is always good for a quickie.  Bathroom stall makes for a hot orgasm, especially if it’s a busy bathroom (usually your nicer places have attendants-slip em a few dollars not make a fuss). Ladies in a crowed bar, standing around, a bump in the right place, in just the right tempo will drive that unsuspecting guy into a tizzy. But make sure to get in and move out quickly or the tables could turn on you. Gents in a crowed bar, standing around, find that wall flower and make her feel pretty, you may find she’s got a lot to offer with no strings attached, it’s the holiday season and she may be up for some fun. But during all these shenanigans remember; no means no, don’t be a jerk, don’t be a sour bitch, download that Uber or Lyft APP  the day before and make sure you use it when you’ve had too many glasses of spirits.