When last we spoke, Ashley Madison was the top story of the evening news. Famous people were confessing to having affairs, even though, names of these women did not meet the light of day. Websites provided a “check your spouses email account” to offer scorned wives with evidence of cheating. It’s exhausting, just to type this stuff. I maintain; cheating is nothing new and once the heat dies down those famous names will find another way to satisfy their itch. I’d bet hard money on that.
Having first hand knowledge of AM, being one of those women; seeking with specific perimeters, sketched out a profile, carefully choose photos for my private key, clicking publish your profile and turning off the site, letting it simmer for a few days. Of course you always want to tinker with your wording in the damn thing…but I resisted, having faith that what I wrote, eliminating the boxes (and there are plenty of boxes that can be checked), being myself, I decided to give a proof read 24 hours later.
Opened the site and there sat 30 pieces of mail. Whoa! OMG! What have I done. It was all overwhelming! My first reaction; Am I the only bitch on this site?! Am I emanating some sort of pheromone?! Don’t laugh, but I ran…I shut that shit down, grabbed my paw friend and went for a walk along the beach. WTF!!
By the time I returned, prepared a light dinner to go with my heavy reading (those messages), I reopened my AM site and the mailbox number jumped to 45. I was outdone-how do you read that many and do a refining of who’s full of shit, whose sincere and who’s just a dog in heat for a one night slam, bam, thank you ma’am?I decided: No photo-delete, photos of penises-delete, photos of neophytes-delete. Okay that’s better, down to 18…after a few days I concluded; first attempt a bust. I wasn’t into any of them. There was the radio personality who wrote in poetic form, nice, but boring. There was the NASA engineer who was combative, because he wanted to be “daddy”. Then there was the “so-called” retired federal agent-I mean really? They all fell miserably. I became discouraged and used the “hide your profile button.
Six weeks later, 2 weeks before the hacking news hit the media, like a tidal wave, I went back to the site. Tweaked my profile, deleted all the photos (photos are hidden until you allow them to be seen) and used more recent ones-one to include my trek to a Regional Championship flight. One of my team members had snapped a photo of me in action.
I unchecked the box to publish my profile. Upon my return I found; two dummy inquires-they were just too good to be real, a retired Navy-later revealed was a commander, a real estate broker, an engineer and a football referee. Because I disliked the setup of AM, I had set up another email account, inviting the promising to contact me there. Can I tell you, that was the best idea. I got to know these guys a little better, their habits of communication and they were quite candid in exposing themselves. Who they are, their day, what they enjoyed. It was the online version of the BACHELORETTE. I had these seeming nice guys and communicating gave me true insight to whom they were and where they would fit into my life…if I wanted to take step 2.
Step 2. My go to place was very public, busy with people in and out constantly. I met three, which eliminated 2. Met the fourth and unbeknownst to me, before I could catch my breath, swallow my last sip of coffee, number 4 had managed to sweep me off my feet. Charming, funny, sincere, a complete gentleman and the look in his eyes told me he was completely smitten with me. But. And here’s the thing…he has yet to act on his desire…”let’s take this slow and steady, I think we’ve got something really special here and I don’t want to blow it…” You could have knocked me over with a feather.
We chat, we text, he says good morning, every day…it’s just enough, but not too much. I’ve tested his resolve and he’s been resolute. I’ve walked away once and he asked me to give it a chance. Oh Jeez, the LONE WOLF has been snared in a trap and the trap didn’t hurt, I haven’t run…don’t want to run. When we walk on the beach and he takes my hand, my belly flutters. Silly me, I thought I had a stomach virus! My belly quivers when I see his name pop up on my screen, a simple text; “Hi” He has no clue he’s snared a wolf, who’s roamed the world alone and didn’t care. Oh does he?
I haven’t given him my final rose, but the others are no longer in the picture. Is it possible that AM the online scandal site really works? Even if the final rose isn’t given I am pleased with the relationship. Pleased with him. And isn’t that what it’s all about? Finding a bit of belly flutter, for just a moment?
I’m open to questions, inquiries please email at your pleasure firstname.lastname@example.org