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~ Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

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Tag Archives: married not having sex with spouse

Brave Soul, Cunning, Bravely Not So Smart?

16 Sunday Sep 2018

Posted by graynoted in adult category, Adult Expicit, ADULTS, Blog, husband and wife, Polyamory

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bolg, brave, husbands, married not having sex with spouse, no sex, relationships

A married woman has not had been intimate with her spouse in 10 years. She has not had intercourse with him in 10 years. Yeah, they’re still married, living under the same roof.

I began to pondering  this, wondered if this is a common marital arrangement. Would you consider this an “arrangement”? A polygamous relationship is an arrangement, why wouldn’t this be the same?  As you process the situation, you have a horde of questions. Was this mutually agreed upon?  How did you arrive with the sleeping arrangements? Who decided which closet, bathroom, bedroom? Does the normal everyday stuff change? Is that divide like roommates or does the everyday stuff remain as close to resembling a married couple for the sake of those looking in? And is there nudity? Usually married people of couples in committed relationships expose their naked bodies as a natural part of co-habitation. One would assume, if there’s no co-mingling there’s no kissing…no pecks…no nothing. With all this unknown running through my mind, I had to learn more.  Was she a brave soul? Or a really cunning woman? Or just bravely stupid?  I told relish calling people the “s” word, but it seems appropriate in this case.

Upon further conversation, gaining permission to write about this in my blog, I found myself marveled at her sense of control of her life, her goals, her accomplishments. Yes, accomplishments!  She was a dutiful wife until one day her spouse of many years was diagnosed with a non life threatening ailment. It would not be cured, he would not die and there is no cure. It became all about him and his ailment. Everyday was dedicated to his need to be fulfilled as a man, even the sex itself was no longer about her but him getting his ejaculation when he needed to feel manly. Her vagina, having been had no issues in the past, suffered a metamorphis due to the medication he was on that wouldn’t cure him, but help him manage the ailment. She wanted to continue being an intimate couple but wanted him to use a condom. A simple request, right?  Well, no! Not so simple. He used them for awhile and eventually he stopped…stopped having intercourse. I was reminded that he didn’t do anything to give her a happy ending. No finger, no tongue, no vibrator. She was left to find her own orgasm. He didn’t want to talk about sex. He began to tell her no so nice things about her body. He made her feel unattractive and unappreciated as a woman.

Five years past. She reminded me that when the 5 year mark came around she didn’t plan to have an affair, it was, a natural progression. She was, in her words: “…ready to be fucked by a man’s penis and not a dildo.”  What she discovered, unbeknownst to her, she missed giving pleasure to a man more than having intercourse, more than having him lick her clit, more than him finger fucking her, sucking her tits. She began to experiment orgasmic sensations while sucking a mans cock. The more it grew, the harder it became, the wetter she would get until she felt the pulsation of an orgasm. She use to gag when going deep with a penis, now she likes to go deep, stroke it with her tongue, lick his balls and swallow as much of the penis as she could fit into her mouth.  This of course made the guy she was having the affair with ape shit for her. Made him want her more. They were together for a few months and she decided to move on, to explore her feminine curious side.

Three years past while she was engaged with sexual pleasure with select people when she met a couple whom seemed perfect. They shared many interest and they both made her feel sexually desirable and wanted.  You see it’s one thing to feel sexy, it whole different story to be sexually desired. Her time with them made the world a perfect place. She’d give some reason for having to spend the weekend away from home. It was a fantasy. The three of them in another city with the freedom of anonymity, gave her a sense of prowess. She changed her hair, her style of dress, brought sexy panties with matching bras and on one trip she returned with a discreet tattoo that was meant for lovers only.

Twelve years in, she got the serious stuff done. Vaginal rejuvenation, strategic cool sculpting, starting hot yoga, pilates and long walks on the beach with her trusty canine. She was always selective, but more so now. The couple moved due to job promotion, she visited a few times, but it’s been a couple of years since she’s seen them.

“Somethings” She told me. ” Are good for the short term, too much takes away the goodness, lessens the appeal.”

On that I have to agree wholeheartedly.  It’s a defining factor for nonmonagamy. It lends to the saying, variety is the spice of life.

She remains in her marriage, as a convenience, to maintain the lifestyle she’s accustom to and the family structure, so much as it is, intact.  He’s not demonstrated any interest in all these years of abstinence. She secure with herself and who she is. Although he still makes derogatory comments, they no longer bother her.

I asked the obvious. Do you think he’s aware of your sexual prowess?  Her response. “Oh I’m sure it’s crossed his mind at some point, but he’s not into me and he’s of a mindset, if he isn’t, no one else would be either.” 

I say Brave Soul…anyone who goes against the grain of society, especially when it’s carnal knowledge has got a lot of chutzpah. A toast for the lady.

glasses

Addison
adding.blog@gmail.com

 

In Case You Missed It

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A Leap of Faith

A walk in the shoes of the barefoot sub.

1st U.S. Colored Cavalry

Private Lives, Public Records

Erotica By Cordelia

Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

Shades Of Erotic Poetry

Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

Erotic Banana

Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

Erotic Scribes

Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

The Erotic Writer

Three writers for the price of one blog

Overcoming Sexual Betrayal

The Asexual Agenda

Furthering upper-level discussions of asexuality

A Sexual Being

Where the lines of fantasy and reality blur…

Sexual Destinies

Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

Holland Rae, Writer

Romance novelist, traveler, journalist. Lover of female protagonists, spicy food, fast cars, and good books.

becauseimasexybitch

erotic short stories

fashionandlifestyleweb

A Leap of Faith

A walk in the shoes of the barefoot sub.

1st U.S. Colored Cavalry

Private Lives, Public Records

Erotica By Cordelia

Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

Shades Of Erotic Poetry

Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

Erotic Banana

Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

Erotic Scribes

Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

The Erotic Writer

Three writers for the price of one blog

Overcoming Sexual Betrayal

The Asexual Agenda

Furthering upper-level discussions of asexuality

A Sexual Being

Where the lines of fantasy and reality blur…

Sexual Destinies

Cry a little, Laugh a lot, Love often ~Addison G.

Holland Rae, Writer

Romance novelist, traveler, journalist. Lover of female protagonists, spicy food, fast cars, and good books.

becauseimasexybitch

erotic short stories

fashionandlifestyleweb

Tangled Love Web

queertheorysite

The Dating Diaries

Yup. This blog is exactly what you think it is. Vivere Marie and Nova Moriarty are here to share the process of trying to figure out this thing called dating and romance. Seriously, the hell is that?! Nova Moriarty is an author of high fantasy erotica, and this blog is the epicenter of her book news and thoughts on writing.

No Nonsense with Nuwan Sen

Art Cinema & Literature site NS

vinnieh

Movie reviews and anything else that comes to mind

HG Tudor - Knowing The Narcissist - The World's No.1 Resource About Narcissism

Know everything about narcissists from the world's no.1 source. A narcissist himself.

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