Tag Archives: relationships

Brave Soul, Cunning, Bravely Not So Smart?

16 Sunday Sep 2018

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A married woman has not had been intimate with her spouse in 10 years. She has not had intercourse with him in 10 years. Yeah, they’re still married, living under the same roof.

I began to pondering  this, wondered if this is a common marital arrangement. Would you consider this an “arrangement”? A polygamous relationship is an arrangement, why wouldn’t this be the same?  As you process the situation, you have a horde of questions. Was this mutually agreed upon?  How did you arrive with the sleeping arrangements? Who decided which closet, bathroom, bedroom? Does the normal everyday stuff change? Is that divide like roommates or does the everyday stuff remain as close to resembling a married couple for the sake of those looking in? And is there nudity? Usually married people of couples in committed relationships expose their naked bodies as a natural part of co-habitation. One would assume, if there’s no co-mingling there’s no kissing…no pecks…no nothing. With all this unknown running through my mind, I had to learn more.  Was she a brave soul? Or a really cunning woman? Or just bravely stupid?  I told relish calling people the “s” word, but it seems appropriate in this case.

Upon further conversation, gaining permission to write about this in my blog, I found myself marveled at her sense of control of her life, her goals, her accomplishments. Yes, accomplishments!  She was a dutiful wife until one day her spouse of many years was diagnosed with a non life threatening ailment. It would not be cured, he would not die and there is no cure. It became all about him and his ailment. Everyday was dedicated to his need to be fulfilled as a man, even the sex itself was no longer about her but him getting his ejaculation when he needed to feel manly. Her vagina, having been had no issues in the past, suffered a metamorphis due to the medication he was on that wouldn’t cure him, but help him manage the ailment. She wanted to continue being an intimate couple but wanted him to use a condom. A simple request, right?  Well, no! Not so simple. He used them for awhile and eventually he stopped…stopped having intercourse. I was reminded that he didn’t do anything to give her a happy ending. No finger, no tongue, no vibrator. She was left to find her own orgasm. He didn’t want to talk about sex. He began to tell her no so nice things about her body. He made her feel unattractive and unappreciated as a woman.

Five years past. She reminded me that when the 5 year mark came around she didn’t plan to have an affair, it was, a natural progression. She was, in her words: “…ready to be fucked by a man’s penis and not a dildo.”  What she discovered, unbeknownst to her, she missed giving pleasure to a man more than having intercourse, more than having him lick her clit, more than him finger fucking her, sucking her tits. She began to experiment orgasmic sensations while sucking a mans cock. The more it grew, the harder it became, the wetter she would get until she felt the pulsation of an orgasm. She use to gag when going deep with a penis, now she likes to go deep, stroke it with her tongue, lick his balls and swallow as much of the penis as she could fit into her mouth.  This of course made the guy she was having the affair with ape shit for her. Made him want her more. They were together for a few months and she decided to move on, to explore her feminine curious side.

Three years past while she was engaged with sexual pleasure with select people when she met a couple whom seemed perfect. They shared many interest and they both made her feel sexually desirable and wanted.  You see it’s one thing to feel sexy, it whole different story to be sexually desired. Her time with them made the world a perfect place. She’d give some reason for having to spend the weekend away from home. It was a fantasy. The three of them in another city with the freedom of anonymity, gave her a sense of prowess. She changed her hair, her style of dress, brought sexy panties with matching bras and on one trip she returned with a discreet tattoo that was meant for lovers only.

Twelve years in, she got the serious stuff done. Vaginal rejuvenation, strategic cool sculpting, starting hot yoga, pilates and long walks on the beach with her trusty canine. She was always selective, but more so now. The couple moved due to job promotion, she visited a few times, but it’s been a couple of years since she’s seen them.

“Somethings” She told me. ” Are good for the short term, too much takes away the goodness, lessens the appeal.”

On that I have to agree wholeheartedly.  It’s a defining factor for nonmonagamy. It lends to the saying, variety is the spice of life.

She remains in her marriage, as a convenience, to maintain the lifestyle she’s accustom to and the family structure, so much as it is, intact.  He’s not demonstrated any interest in all these years of abstinence. She secure with herself and who she is. Although he still makes derogatory comments, they no longer bother her.

I asked the obvious. Do you think he’s aware of your sexual prowess?  Her response. “Oh I’m sure it’s crossed his mind at some point, but he’s not into me and he’s of a mindset, if he isn’t, no one else would be either.” 

I say Brave Soul…anyone who goes against the grain of society, especially when it’s carnal knowledge has got a lot of chutzpah. A toast for the lady.

glasses

Addison
adding.blog@gmail.com

 

Simple Arithmetic

05 Wednesday Sep 2018

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It’s simple arithmetic. One plus two equals three. But this simple equation can become complex. It’s fairly simple when you have three eggs, three oranges, three bottles of beer, three people out for a jovial night of fun, three friends.

Complexity is, as they say, in the eye of the beholder.  L’amour de trois is open sex with three people, two men & a woman or two women & a man. There’s no complexity even if they trois frequently. They enjoy having sex with like minded people. The two men enjoy sexual intercourse with each other and they like the added bonus of a tits & pussy. There are plenty of married, conventional married couples that enjoy the company of another man. He may like to watch his wife engage with another man and the other man to engage with him. He sucking him off while he performs cunnilingus on the wife. It’s a matter of choice who actually penetrates who. The third party leaves and the couple goes back to normal.  That’s the simple arithmetic.

A couple discusses at length that they’d to have a third party join them. Discreet being the optimal desire in order to experience this forbidden desire. That can be simple arithmetic. A couple discusses that instead we want this third person to be there for us…for us exclusively. Not necessarily live with them, but any and all sexual activity with them and them only. The arithmetic has just become complex. Instead of the third person leaving to go home after a fun romp naked in the bedroom, they will likely stay overnight, in bed with them. This ritual will be repeated many times. The couple is now polyamory. It takes a strong relationship. A mutual respect by all. Consentement.

threesome_yard_sign

I was in a polyamorous relationship several years ago. I had many regrets, but not the regrets you may think. I wish I had done more, been more to each of them. She was a no nonsense woman who felt she needed to wield her sword at every turn. Yet in the bedroom she became submissive and yielding. I remember the first time we were together at their farm. No not that kind of farm, a very nice piece of land on an inlet to a massive bay body of water. There were several out structures with house as the focal point as you traveled the half mile drive way to the portico. We had dinner, laughed at each others jokes about various things. He was a stern man in public but in the privacy of his domain he was very jovial, had a wonder laugh and would often have tears in his eyes while telling a funny story relating to his former profession. I remember thinking how great it was that I was chosen out of who knows how many other women who had responded to their polygamous solicitation. After dinner and tiding the kitchen, we sat on the porch wrapped in light blankets. He broke the ice, got up from beside her, to sit beside me and asked if he could kiss me…french kiss me. I still throb between my legs when I think about that first kiss. I removed my blanket exposing more for him to enjoy. As he moved my t-shirt above my breast, he discovered I wasn’t wearing a bra. Instantly his cock got pressing his trouser like an animal wanting to escape. I could hear her moan like a cat in heat and I unzipped his trouser, cupped his cock in my hand, beginning to masturbate him. When I felt that tiny drip of clear liquid, I moved to cup his cock in my mouth, going up and down, deep into my throat. His moans were  unmistakeable. And I as I always do, get so wet and horny when I am sucking on hard cock…she came over, stood next to us. I slid my free hand into her slacks and found a moist haven of soft pussy lips…she removed my slacks and began slicking my clit, driving me in sane with desire to be fucked by his cock that was now fucking my mouth… It was a natural switch him on his back, she on his face, me sitting on that sweet hard cock… She later watch as he lubricated me for anal play. I licked her wet pussy while he entered my throbbing wanting rear. He finger fucked my wet pussy while he slid in out with ease in my rear. We showered together. Had a snack. Later that night, he watched as she I found immense pleasure in each other. We were together for a long time. Traveled together. Dinner with their friends, who were non the wiser. How or why it ended, I’ll keep as my secret.

I’ve had several relationships since the polyamory and now I have that door opened to me again. Two plus one can be complex. What would you do? Addie

 

 

addig.blog@gmail.com

I solemnly…sound mind & mature body

26 Tuesday Jun 2018

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male female symbol

I give a loud chuckle, as I begin to write. It’s been…what? At least a year that I’ve gone straight. Cold turkey. One solid year with one sex partner. I’m sorry, but about to find a bridge and jump!  Are we humans, according to the law of the land, supposedly have just one sex partner????  Seriously! What monk created the word monogamous. Surely his ink well ran dry, his quill unable to script it’s true meaning. Along come the old senior monk, penis dried up but ink well full, his quill adds “sex”.  I think the Europeans got it right. As did the Asians. Consorts, cortisanes, paramours, are what keeps them separate from Americans puritanical mind-sets.  Ménage trois, polygamous, not necessarily polygamy, have success when entered into with a strong consensus and openness. Sharing your prowess can be liberating.

I’m not wired to having the same kind of intercourse when he’s in the mood. Two men or a man and a woman adds so much dynamic complexity that is so simple and basic.  If man were meant to be one horse riders, strip joints, private sex clubs, prostitution, Ashley Madison, online sites geared to couple sharing would be dormant to the sounds of crickets.  If you’ve read my earlier blogs, my favorites are private, by invite only, social gatherings hosted by couples and some individuals at their residences.  I met my current, monogamous partner at such an event.  It was love at first site, but he’s not into sharing thus we’re in the “where do we go from here” mode.

I admit to my error. I thought I’d found the perfect mate. My like-minded guy, or so I was led to believe, who I was willing to spend the rest of my life with. I was distracted by the lifestyle: new expensive European sports car, the ring the size of Mt St Helene, private jet, locations…but the sex is ho-hum.  I’ve shown him some of the hottest women (okay the other guy thing I get-not wanting to share) in the US, France, Thailand, Scandinavia…nothing!  My thing with this is; you found this kitty at a couples swap party and now you want to deprive the kitty of it’s milk. I’m not a happy kitty in the bedroom.  I want us to share our tenacity for love and engage in happy healthy cunnilingus, fellatio, ménage a trois…

I’m back to my blog. Not a good sign. I solemnly do swear I am of sound mind & (matured) body.  I want to feel a woman’s lips on mine.

depressed woman

Addie

A hot shower & a cup of hot tea…Done!

26 Saturday Nov 2016

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It’s been a sometimes fun but often grueling experience. I’m happy it’s over and hope not to travel this road ever again.

To my editors; You will have to provide me with a much larger incentive if you ever want this kind of information again.  I took many showers during these past several weeks and drank my share of vino just to get through it.      bottle-wine

 

For the love of what the fuck! Six months ago I agreed to enter into the world of online dating for the second time. It’s a jungle out there, a girl has to be smart and willing to take on another life, especially if it’s all fake for information purposes. The facts aren’t often pretty and these are no exception. I’ll randomly go through the last six months of the revolving door of men and women. Some info will be limited due to copy-rights and my editors blowing up regarding my blogging on the subject. It’s enough to share, enough to…well just read on-in no particular order.

I’ll begin with Ken (btw all names are fiction-yes they gave me actual names, phone numbers and much more)…Ken, the Scorpio, introverted, former NAVY, works as civil employee, lived in a moderate neighborhood, divorced, one child-freshmen year in college.  He liked to cook and it showed. Not very outdoorsy and it showed. Spent his weekends watching old movies that he’d seen a few times, liked to play board games. He came off as gruff, not a very happy person who wanted to get laid but didn’t want to put in the effort to accomplish this.  He wanted to exchange sexy emails with me doing all the sex talk.  When I called him out on meeting, after a few weeks of pulling sexy talk from him, he gave me the story that he’d had a bad experience and was hesitant about meeting. At which point he asked for more photos. Seriously? I’ve sent you 3 and now you want more?  Oh and if I could send a nude one he’d like that.

A shower and a bottle of wine cleansed me from this lazy jerk, who I suspect was jerking off to the photos and the emails. He was cut off…spam.

Meanwhile, back at rancho online creep-o!  There was grandpa, the Leo. He had no online photo, came off like this sweet, subservient guy who only wanted to please. It was “dear” this “dear” that and whatever pleases you dear, oh I’m sorry dear, was I being, too forward dear, whatever you say dear…I’m suck a dumbass dear, I should have known better, I hope I haven’t blown it with you. This was Don. Supposedly a professional guy with an office, married but not getting any-had not had any in a very long time. He begged for a photo for about 10 days, when he finally got the message that I wasn’t sending jack shit until I got one from him, he sends a photo of him sitting in a lawn chair with a 6-year-old on his lap (his grandson).  WTF!  What kind of man sends a prospective piece of ass a photo of his grandchild?  Was this for browny points? Or was it to cover the belly and the dick-dew?  He begged for my phone number so he could text. Okay, here you go, here’s my burner.  And then it was a constant barrage of sexting all day through early evening then a pause and would start-up again around 10 and last until midnight.  The pause was when he was home and the wifey-poo was up, but as soon as she’d gone to bed he’d start again.  I finally laid down the law, the day I was in some very important meetings and had to turn my phone off because he was sexting every 30 minutes.  The day I met him, he almost stained his trousers. He even wanted some PDA, that I squashed!!  Seriously?  You think I’m going to make out with you right here in the middle of a parking lot?  And please don’t follow me, I’m not, too keen on you seeing what I drive…to which I walked him to his car, saw him off before heading to the steps to my vehicle 2 levels above (where I parked purposefully).

Don’s admission that his big office was actually a suite in a not so nice part of town, having just purchased a new sofa for his “office”, wanted me to stop by his new office…WAIT! NEW OFFICE?  So, this location you’ve just moved in to? And your assistant is actually your wife, who works there on the weekends? Oh, I see! The only time you can get away is during the day? Evenings are tough to get out, but if I don’t want to have sexy time in his “office” we can go to his house, his wife is a ride share, once she leaves for work (25 plus mile away) she’s gone for the day. NO. NO thanks. No not going to your wife’s house to have sex with you!

Meanwhile. The college professor who was actually an instructor, he and the wife enjoyed playtime a few of the local clubs that hosted gatherings for couples swapping. They sent numerous photos of her in flimsy lingerie. He was contact person, never heard from her and all he wanted to tell me about was what he had.  Hmmmm! No thanks! When I asked him about his wife, if she and I could exchange communications, I was promptly told that he did the talking for both of them. Okay…

Then there was Greg. Older fella. Said he was a retired consultant. Sent me two photos that were either several years old or they were photo-shopped from a magazine. In one he’s wearing a tux holding a highball glass, not looking into the camera, the other the man is wearing a very nice custom grey suit standing in front of a grey Porsche that has a Delta emblem on it…which is on the tarmac. When I saw this photo I took another look at the first one…something wasn’t fitting, just looked, too perfect.  I called him out on the photos but not to my surprise did he acknowledge or deny-completely ignore my query. And again, he could only get away during the day, he worked from home, when he wasn’t traveling of course, nights and weekends were tough to get away. I set a meet, waited until the morning of and gave him an out. He jumped on it and has later asked if we could really get together?  His take was meet during the day, have wine and then sex.  Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!  LMAO!  I questioned him; So, you can’t get out at night or weekends, you travel to all these places, stay in these 5 star hotels, yet you want me to meet you during the day, drink wine – have sex…and it’s okay for you to go home reeking of wine and stale pussy?  He didn’t respond to that query either.  I concluded that Greg was lying and probably retired, bored sitting home watch game shows and cop repeats.

The one thing they all had in common. Once I mentioned I like giving head, they were all in! Would do whatever it took to get me in a room, an office, a car, behind a bar…I guess older guys or any guy for that matter doesn’t get much head from the wifey-poo! I don’t get that. Why women don’t give their husbands head!!!

And lastly. I mentioned several weeks ago that there was one guy who was slicker than grease. I came off like the discard women, who’d been wronged.  Well, actually no, I wasn’t. This guy, was a smartass, or at least he thought he was.  Sent photos that I, once suspect were old photos and he was much older than he claimed. It was something he responded to that brought this to light and from that it was decided that I would take this route. In his arrogance, he admitted to knowing my identity, my blog, my overseas column.  He’d taken the time to “look me up” in a detailed way.  He’s also, my opinion somewhat of a racist and I don’t use that word often or lightly.  He, as we suspected could have been dangerous and we decided to do something about it.  A dual online profile, using a photo from a shoot that we had permission to use and dangled the cord by putting in all the key words that would get his attention. POP! He did, as he followed the same pattern of photos that he’d sent me originally and asking for my number to text. I took on an entirely different persona and he bought it.  He wanted to meet, was coming to town (we suspect he lived in town), dinner (it always had to be at a nice place), I told what I would be wearing, he told me what he’d be wearing. WE went sat in the parking lot and sure enough there he was…just as I had suspected!  Of course Morgan didn’t show. He texted many times, even wondered if she was okay. His final text was sad, regretful and he sent an empty email to see if the email was still there. The profile on the site was remove 15 minutes prior to the meeting time. Karma is a bitch Bugsy. Fire hot! Burn!

Most men on sites want a little excitement in their lives. I get that. Most of the married women on the sites are seeking the same. Gents, if she’s not your cup of tea, move the fuck on…there are, too many women in the fish bowl to play games. Wives, give your man a blow job! You don’t have to swallow!

cock

Shower and a hot cup of tea for me!

cup-of-tea

Thank you loyal readers.

addieg.blog@gmail.com

 

Happy Twenty-fourteen!!

31 Tuesday Dec 2013

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Facing the final day of twenty-thirteen, I’m trying not to get sentimental about the past twelve months.  I’ve done some really great things, made some solid decisions and optimized my goals. There are some not so good things, as well. 

 

Using my head;

I begin this blog…no I haven’t been consistent with my postings. Time hasn’t been on my side and then the subject matter, trying to be creative, entertaining and interesting has been a challenge. I’ve written about my experiences and that has made the act of  putting the thoughts into sentences a lot easier. 

 

I remodeled my kitchen this past year. I’m pleased with my creative results. It wasn’t easy, living without a kitchen sink, a garbage disposal, a dishwasher, stovetop and an oven.  A tiny dorm room refrigerator and a microwave made me create new ways of eating. Gallon jugs of water allowed me to enjoy my morning coffee…something no one would want to see…me without my morning cup of coffee. Then there’s the dust, the noise, the fuss, the strangers looming about. I don’t know who suffered more. Me or my two, very large, very protective, stuck in their way of a daily routine German Shepherds, who at times would look at me and clearly wonder…WHAT THE FUCK!!

So I compromised, with daily trips to doggie daycare, even when I had no appointments or tennis matches.  My tennis suffered greatly. My league record was awful, embarrassing to a point that I knew when the new ratings were published that I’d get kicked back a level.  But the tennis poopas held me in their favor, I loss an alphabet. If you know anything about tennis ratings you’ll know that wasn’t, too bad. Yes, “the odds were ever in my favor”!  I did learn that focus is just as important as reading the other side of the net. Focus provides accuracy, something I lacked the entire spring league season. 

So now that the house is back in order, I’ve got new toys in the kitchen and the Shepherds are back in their groove, I expect to kick some big ass in spring of twenty-fourteen.

 

I paid cash for all my holiday gifts and celebrations. No January blues for this gal. I didn’t over indulge in food or drink this year. Yay!  I’ll be able to zip my skinny girl jeans next month. 

 

I made some new friends (females) during the year…seems like they’ll be long lasting.  We’ve got several things in common and that always helps. 

 

 

Not using my head, reacting with my heart;

Lordy, somebody shoot me now!  I’m still taking calls from my police detective former serious relationship boyfriend. If you’ve followed my blog you’ll recall the heart breaking story. Why I continue to pick up the phone…no solid reasoning…I’m boarder line, teetering on the edge telling myself, NO, I’m not (purposefully)  stringing him along to tug at his heart…at the right moment pulling the cord at just the moment to break it…not admitting that, but clearly I’m doing something. I’ve convinced myself I’ll jump off this fence when I’m 100% about what it is I’m doing…til then I continue to answer.  I have promised to visit…It’s my normal flight south during the unbearable cold season here. Only this time I’m taking my four legged, fur covered BFFs…no over night stays…no unexpected overnight company.

 

There’s the gawd awful email I sent. I told a former beau/friend that I’d rarely had an orgasm while with him. I thought he was a cheap ass SOB who wasn’t’ that great in bed. It was a douzzy of a letter, fueled by anger. Enough! I was over his warped thinking that I was a last minute phone call when he was bored or was feeling horny…wanting a good lay. I gave this guy hellova blow jobs…some of my best work. He didn’t appreciate the “friends with benefit” relationship. He’d call to say he wanted to come by…go out for a casual meal & drink, not really a date. If I was available with nothing planned, I’d meet him at a restaurant; always paid for my drink and meals…I never called him or expected him to pay. We were friends after dating a few years ago, for a short period, nothing serious.  The last time he called, he rudely didn’t show up nor did he have the graciousness to call.  I had a drink and then order a salad at the bar…left when I finished. I gave it great thought and even waited a full 24 hours before I hit “send”.  Had I been thinking with my head, sans emotion, I would have called him and left a voice mail.

 

What the future holds;

I resolve not to make resolutions for twenty-fourteen. Nothing promised, nothing to regret.

 

Happy New Year y’all!