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What is it about the ego?
ego; a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance} That’s the simple version
The deeper meaning: 1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought
and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.
3. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
The world is filled with those who think more of themselves than they do another. They are compelled and fully committed to self preservation. Some the best cinema thrillers are based on these egos.
I dated a guy…no, no, you can’t date a married man! He was a danger to others because he knew how to manipulate and convince you his words and thought pattern was not about him, but you…it was you he wanted to center his attention upon. This scenario requires anatomy. I tell it for my own therapeutic reasons. He thought I was dumb to his manipulations, or so he thought. It does prove that an egotistical person can be so self involved that he never saw it coming…it hit him, it hit him hard. He was a sex maniac. He would screw anything moving. He didn’t have a type–female. He would confided to me that he had enjoyed fellatio with a man. His only limit was going all the way with a guy. Really?! .
I met him by incident, the tennis court. You know how you see a person, think you know them from somewhere, yet can’t place the face. I pride myself in remembering faces, it was an asset when I was flying. I was introduced to him by a tennis pro, while he was taking a private clinic. I was polite, moved on, didn’t give it another thought. This was about the time the admiral and his wife were in full swing (literally) and were about to introduce me to one of their CEO friends from the northwest. A great weekend at their farm was a few days away, so this familiar face was the farthest thing from my mind.
Yes, yes, I’ll get to that weekend eventually…
Three months later I was leaving a fun match, walking mindlessly through the complex, heading to my car, when I heard my name. I turned to see this guy and right away I recognized him. I spoke but didn’t stop walking. The next thing I knew, he was walking beside my at my pace. The conversation was pleasant, but I did notice that he assumed that I remembered his name…knew who he was as he commenced to ask me out–well, actually to his office. Your office?? Why would I want to come to your office? In that split second, it came to me who he was and where his office was located. I saw him on the evening news a couple of years ago being sworn in as the chief of police for the adjoining city. I was curious…but declined his invitation and walked away.
It was the middle of December, my cell rang, I didn’t know the number, but I knew it was a municipal number for the adjoining city. I declined to answer, sending it to my voicemail. It was the chief, wanting to have lunch, wanting to talk about a business matter. Good grief! I waited two days and returned his call. We arranged lunch for the next day in his city. He showed twenty-five minutes late, I had ordered and was in the midst of eating. He was visibility upset that I hadn’t waited and verbally scolded me. Egomaniac! He’s use to being in charge and is clueless on how to separate it his uniform, which he loved to wear, from his civilian life. My ego got the best of me and right then and there I decided he needed a few lessons.I’m not married, mind you, but I do wear a set of diamond rings stacked on the wedding finger, so it’s easy to assume that I’m married. I don’t wear jewelry when I play tennis, but at lunch of course I’m wearing my jewelry. He spotted the rings and I just knew his penis got hard as a rock. He was turned on that I was married. He never asked…he did assume and I let him think just that.
I didn’t know that much about him, so I Goggled him. Holy shit! He’s married with two teenage children at home. He’d virtually loss his last position due to an investigation, the position before that he was on the cusp but left before he was let go and before that he was a federal agent…not sure what happened there, but I later learned he left under unfriendly terms. It was clear this guy’s ego was bigger than life and I may be getting in over my head…the married thing bothered me…it bothered me more when he told me about his last girlfriend, but he’s never felt this strongly for any woman…I said to myself, not even your wife?
He continued to call during the holidays. He wanted to know my address so he could send me flowers for Christmas. I thanked him for the thought but no way was I giving this married chief of police the location of my sanctuary. I told him I was going away for a few days and they would go to waste in an empty place. He wanted to know where was I going…I was heading out of town to the admiral and his wife’s farmhouse for the new year. But it was none of his business. He wanted me to call him while I was gone. He called me 4 times New Year’s Eve and 3 times New Year’s day. He call several times while I was driving back from the farm…answering his call was like giving in to his ego. I had a plan and it was going to be the end of this egotistical chief. And wouldn’t you know it, he was all in, to meet me in Atlanta. He assumed he was going to stay with me at my hotel, but I’m sorry I don’t pay for men to stay in hotels with me. I told him where I was staying and he could pay for the room. He took it upon myself to find a cheap motel and told me that I was staying with him. Really? This created an argument as he began to rant and stomp throwing a temper tantrum. I was silent while this played out on his end. When he stopped I said to him, I will pick you pick at 10 pm at your hotel, you are actually staying in an area that is on the way to the club. I will not wait, I not park out front, be there when I pull up or I will keep going.
We were going, or should I say I was going to a sex club. A premier, first class place, collared shirts & jackets required, no denim allowed with a hefty admission for men…single men. This was the lure, he had taken the bait, the married chief was going to a sex club…I had no plans of having sex with guy. Consenting couples yes. But this guy was a maniac. There are bodyguards in the club and the first rule is no means no. Violate this rule and you’re out on your ass. I knew his concept of the night was completely different from mine. It was going to be fun to see how his ego would handle all the naked ass, the open acts of sex, the lurid dancing and the electric atmosphere. Of course he called me several times trying to convince me to visit him at his hotel. I got a call from the concierge about a man at the front desk saying he was my brother and wanted to surprise me. I told them no he wasn’t my brother. I was told later by the valet guys that he’d flashed his badge wanting to know what kind of rental car I was driving. I finally called him and told him to stop or wasn’t taking him anywhere with me.
When I rolled up to his motel he wasn’t standing out front…I began to drive through with no intent or attempt to park when I heard a voice yell my name. I stopped he ran to the car, breathless holding a small duffle bag he opened the door and attempted to chastise me for not waiting. I ignored his rant and said, what’s with the bag? His overnight stuff. He was coming back to my hotel with me when we left the club. Really? I didn’t say a word…he smiled. When we pulled up to the club, I gave the valet a twenty and told him to take the bag on the back seat out and hold it at the valet stand, please. He glanced at the chief over my shoulder and said okay. Once inside the lobby I told him he would need to show his driver’s license, they would run a scan. I was allowing him to go in on my membership card but we would not go in as a couple, meaning he would not get a wrist band that coupled men wore. I was saving him a lot of money and he would have the time of his life. He tried to get the guy to give him a wrist band when I went to check my bottle of wine…the hostess came over to ask if he was my “other” to which I replied no. We walked in the door, his jaw dropped, got distracted and I slipped away. There are several areas to this place, some of the areas don’t allow single men and I stuck to these areas for most the night. Around 2 am I was ready to go, I looked for him, didn’t see him. I walked through the lobby where I saw the valet guy, who told me he had come out with two young ladies and wanted someone to get his bag from my car. The valet smiled and said; you had his number, you should have seen the look on his face when I reached under the podium and handed him his bag. He wanted to go back inside to find me, but was told he’d have to pay again in order to do that.
He didn’t call the next day, nor the days to follow. I heard many stories of the women he was with at different places, I also heard that he liked having sex in his SUV. A year or so later I saw on the news where he was forced to retire and later learned that he was working out of the country for the DOJ, fell ill while in South America and almost died had to be medi-vac back to the states. I wonder if the near death experience helped him, helped his ego.